I learned how to help people tell their story by asking one simple question: What is it like to be in your shoes?
This book, this story—is a response to years of learning how to help people go deeper. This time, the story is my own.
I wrote this little book because my stories were starting to spill out of my heart and onto the page. And because I believe every one’s story is meant to be heard, including mine.
Every now and again I open my mouth and fire comes out.
Even on summer vacation.
My husband and I were sitting on our deck looking at the harbor, listening to the hum of the lobster boats and savoring the time away from our day to day lives.
Read MoreMost of us get it wrong
Most of us think we need to know exactly what to say
to feel in control
to get our point across
to get the job
to get the date
to get the standing ovation
to be the talk of the town
Read MoreOver spring break, my husband Duncan, and our kids Joey and Kate, went to see our oldest son Charlie who is studying in Spain this semester. We met his host family in Barcelona, ate tapas in the Gothic quarter, and flew to the little island of Mallorca for three days.
And yet the highlight of the trip wasn’t just where we were, but what happened on a day trip up to the northern tip of the island.
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I was sitting at my desk on Friday afternoon wondering whether I should clean out my inbox or work on my taxes when I saw the words “My AI is being an A-hole” pop up in the upper right corner of my screen and I laughed out loud.
Read MoreDuring COVID, I wrote a story.
Yes, it was three years ago when our daily lives changed dramatically… (Remember when they said the kids would be home for two whole weeks?).
I sat my butt down in my chair, morning after morning, and put my story into words.
Read MoreGrowing up, my dad had lots of sayings but ‘with privilege goes responsibility’ was one of his favorites. This simple statement led me to working with a nonprofit for 20 years helping kids chart a new course for their lives.
Read MoreI was sitting on Zoom listening to a social entrepreneur talk about slogging through the years of building, growing and leading his organization from the ground up.
I was focused on his story and couldn’t help but be reminded of my early years of building Summer Search, a national nonprofit. Yes, I hear his experiences and think of my own. That’s what stories do. You listen and find connections. It’s natural. It’s just how our human brains and hearts work.
Read MoreIt’s time to sit down and write about yourself -- an About page, your bio, a new LinkedIn summary. You think, this is going to be simple... it’s my life, right?
Fast forward 3 hours and…
Why can’t I come up with more than what’s on my resume?
Blech, this sounds salesy!
How do I bring my unique voice to this?
You are not alone in these thoughts. I hear them all the time. We start trying to write about ourselves for LinkedIn or a cover letter or a bio or whatever (what many of us call “The Blurb”) and we slide into “pitching” ourselves.
Read More“It finally connected, Katherine,” my friend-and-also-client says to me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, when I listened to the toast you gave your husband, I got what you’ve been telling me - that I really don’t need to write a script.”
Read More“Katherine, are you still coaching executives?” I haven’t seen my son’s fifth grade teacher for years but I stop walking so she can catch up to me.
“Yeah actually people come to me to help them tell their story,” and I add, “It’s called story coaching.”
“Oh that’s right,” she says, “you help people become.” Her brown eyes twinkle as I pause, expecting her to finish her sentence. But that was it. She doesn’t say another word.
Read MoreDuring those first months of shutdown when business was light, life was heavy and I was grateful even for the ping of a stranger on Linked In, I was invited to present to a group working with organ donors. The title of the webinar was The Art and Soul of Storytelling.
Read MoreI raced up two flights of stairs. I had 12 minutes to shower and be ready for the workshop starting at 10am. No one wants to look at wet stringy hair on Zoom but I pushed that thought aside as I instinctively massaged my head with shampoo.
Read MoreWhen a storyteller tells a true personal story with an open heart, everyone benefits, everyone can be changed.
Thank you to the following nonprofits who have invited me to be part of their efforts.
“Don't you feel a little exposed, Duncan?!”
My husband is shaking his hips, doing his signature dance move, aptly called the pencil sharpener.
We had slipped away from our kids and responsibilities for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary. The sky was dark. The stars were out. Sonos was blaring Kool and the Gang. And the beach house with windows-on-every-wall-and-no-shades was making me feel vulnerable to judging passers-by.
Read MoreThe strangest request came in a couple years ago from one of my clients.
Smart, engaged, with an entire career under her belt, this client had initially come to me for help expressing why she cared so deeply about certain philanthropic causes, to help these organizations raise money. (Fundraising is all about story-sharing, standing in other people’s shoes, and supporting common values.)
Read MoreThe other day I received an email from a student after our storytelling workshop. The stories everyone shared were unique and personal, and they must have resonated.
“Story work is powerful,” he wrote, “I don't feel so alone.”
Read MoreYou tell your story — the one that gives someone a glimpse into who you are, what you care about — so that someone can connect with you. You want them to see you, not just the veneer of skills or lists of accomplishments that might convince them to hire you, like you, or date you. You want them to see who you are on the inside.
Read MoreWhen my three kids were in preschool, I remember attending a parent workshop where I raised my hand and asked, “How do you elevate the conversation at dinner?”
The teacher looked right at me and, with an ever-so-slight huff, responded “Really? Don’t you think you’re asking a lot of your family right now? You just need to get through this stage.”
Read MoreJanuary 6th I woke up to an email in my inbox about epiphanies from one of my favorite writers. I was relieved it wasn’t another email about goal setting or new year’s resolutions. I write things down in the form of a list every day, I make plans—or used to, and I put one foot in front of the other. Haven’t we learned anything from last year? Goal setting is so 2019.
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