What does your story say about you?

“It’s why I’ve never liked storytelling. Because you have to be a little vulnerable,” she said through the little zoom box that continues to remind me every single day about the game show Hollywood Squares.

“Good point,” I said.

But then I paused and responded, “And, how else might you get close to the people you care about?”

Last week, I met and found myself admiring this woman leader for admitting she wasn’t a fan of storytelling, and showing up to my storytelling workshop anyway.

As part of the workshop, I told a personal story as an example of a framework I’ve developed called the Three C’s. I shared this story from my journey in learning how to be more authentic and speak my truth, because it is my purpose story, my back story, and the best way I can describe why I care so much about the work I get to do every day. 

Now you’d think for a workshop I’d focus on them. And I do! But there’s a moment when I use my story to illuminate an important concept in storytelling. When you’re telling your story, one of the most important questions you can ask yourself is, What does the story I’m telling say about who I am? 

You tell your story — the one that gives someone a glimpse into who you are, what you care about — so that someone can connect with you. You want them to see you, not just the veneer of skills or lists of accomplishments that might convince them to hire you, like you, or date you. You want them to see who you are on the inside.  

So in this part of the workshop I tell the story, explain this idea, and then naturally I ask: What does this story say about who I am? 

I quickly began reading the words out loud in the Zoom chat to see what my workshop participants felt my story said about me: authentic... bold... vulnerable… When my eyes caught the word unaware, I paused. I was being recorded in front of 50 women leaders, but that doesn’t stop me from saying, aghast, Unaware???

It’s just a word. But my stomach clenched. I got a little defensive. A little embarrassed. But then it hit me. The person who typed those words -- another anonymous Hollywood Square -- understood how far I had traveled. She saw where my story started. And because of that she saw what it had taken for me to be the authentic, bold, vulnerable almost-50-year-old storytelling coach leading this workshop. 

You see, I won’t go into now, but my younger self was indeed unaware that adopting and repeating an internal story (shame) was keeping me from having deeper conversations with others (connection). I was unaware how speaking up about what I felt could have and would have helped.

So yeah, she saw me. And yeah, storytelling can be a little vulnerable.

I’ve spent my career learning the skills that help myself and every single person I come in contact with to be more aware about who we are so that we can connect more authentically with ourselves and with others. These skills came with learning hard-won truths about my own story, and what you find out when you dig deep.

People come to me for storytelling and that’s what I offer, that’s what I sell.

But in truth, what clients receive is AWARENESS. CLARITY. CONNECTEDNESS. To self and others. 

Storytelling is the way in. It helps you see what you haven’t seen before. It helps you connect the dots. And when you connect the dots you get to see the series of choices that led you to moments when you became an agent of change. 

These are important, literally life-changing moments when you no longer accepted the status quo. When you found your words... which meant you found your voice... which meant you found your power.

Which means you found yourself.

When you find yourself, it does people good to know who you are, and know that you know who you are. It lets them see beyond the veneer, it opens the door to trust and connection, and it helps others be brave. Encourages them to get a little vulnerable.

I’ve got frameworks and tools and LOTS of examples to help you discover and share your own story. And no matter what format we’re working in, even through Hollywood Squares, I pay close attention to keeping things focused and safe so there’s room for you to get vulnerable.

Then, when it’s your turn to answer the question Tell Me About Yourself... well, you’ll know what to say.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” - Maya Angelou

If you cringe at the question Tell Me About Yourself, let’s chat. Finding, preparing and sharing your story makes speeches, interviews, presentations, pitches, applications - even relationships -- stronger.