Lose the Paper, Find Your Voice
“It finally connected, Katherine,” my friend-and-also-client says to me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, when I listened to the toast you gave your husband, I got what you’ve been telling me - that I really don’t need to write a script.”
I’m a little surprised that the aha moment my friend-and-also-client had didn’t come during one of our coaching sessions, but I decide to remain curious and hear what he has to say.
“That’s cool. What did you learn?”
“Well for starters you had a simple thread throughout your speech, with a few points and stories to help drive it home.”
“Yeah, I use the rule of three. I have the core message and three points I want to make with a few anecdotes. So much easier to remember. ”
He continues, “And just like you tried to tell me: you don't have to use big words. It seemed more conversational, like the way you actually talk.”
“Yeah, the language of writing and speaking are very different.”
We had been working on his own toast for another occasion and he had written several versions. On our calls we would dig into the Google Doc and re-write the words. He was doing and undoing—working almost too hard to get the words just right.
“And I really liked that, at the end, you made us all think about what we’re grateful for.”
“Yeah, I wasn't sure if a call to action was going to work in a toast but I agree that it did.”
I add, “If I had been holding a piece of paper, it would have taken me away from building a connection with everyone.”
“Simple stuff, really,” I add.
“Yeah, and that was what made it powerful, Katherine.”
I‘m quite certain my words did not come out magically, poetically or fantastically that day. But he was paying attention in a different way and thinking about what we had talked about during our calls.
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Here’s what I do to make it easier to deliver a speech without reading, keeping it simple and powerful:
-Instead of writing out every word, when I'm preparing ahead of time, I often use the notes app or voice memo on my phone. I capture what I want to say through talking out loud. This keeps me from staring at a blank computer screen or getting caught up trying to write or say the perfect words.
-The rule of three works. Easy for me to remember and for you to follow.
- A call to action (which is really giving the audience something to think or do) elevates the message and help us wrap it up (ie, stop talking).
****
On the surface, helping people 'find their words' is what I do. Digging, reflecting, and expressing your thoughts and feelings in a way that connects with others. That is the crux of storytelling. It’s really not complicated.
Yet most of the work is under the surface: what are you being called to share? What resistance or fears do you have sharing what’s inside? What conversation are you having with yourself when you try to speak in front of others?
Today, right now, we’re focusing on tips and tricks.
It may have taken that friend-and-also-client the experience of listening to my toast for those lessons to sink in yet I’m totally confident he will be able to remember the points he wants to make, speak in a conversational, relatable way and give people something to think or do at the end. Just like by reading this story you may be more likely to remember these tips and tricks because I told it in story-form. 👊
It takes effort - and practice - to trust that what comes out of our mouth are the words you want to say.
Yet when you lose the paper, you find your voice. And when you find your voice, we get to finally hear what you truly have to say.