Don’t get caught in what you *think* you should say
The other day I received an email from a student after our storytelling workshop. The stories everyone shared were unique and personal, and they must have resonated.
“Story work is powerful,” he wrote, “I don't feel so alone.”
That is exactly what I love about this work. When we open ourselves up, we create more space to connect with others. We get closer to what matters. Those shared moments, our willingness to be honest and vulnerable, and the connection we create are gifts.
For the past year and a half, we haven’t had as many opportunities to story-tell or story-share. Fewer weddings, conferences, job interviews, Ted talks and spontaneous gatherings. We’ve muddled through as best we can but, let’s face it, we’re out of story-telling practice.
And right now, re-entry is feeling complicated and confusing. Some of us are still languishing in a kind of pandemic isolation purgatory. Or we’re so eager for connection, we’re saying yes to too much and feeling overwhelmed. (If you’re asking, I bounce between the two feelings on any given day!)
You may also have some anxiety about showing up, especially with any kind of vulnerability. In those moments, I find that’s exactly when our presentational self gets in the way of being our authentic self. But it’s only when you speak from your authentic self that connection happens and the alone-ness dissipates.
One way to be able to speak from your authentic self, you may have guessed, is through your story. Our story is what connects us to our listeners. It’s not a chronology of what happened; it’s an account of the challenge you faced, the choices you made and how you changed as a result.
Story work interrupts that tendency to ‘perform’. You can’t always know what your listener wants or needs to hear. You can’t guess what will resonate with them or move them every single time. But you can be honest about what moves you. When you made a choice that changed your life, when you learned something new about yourself, when you became more of the person you are today.
Because when you’re not performing, you get out of the habit of thinking “what am I supposed to say right now?” and start a new habit of speaking from that kernel of truth and wisdom that lives inside of you...your voice.
When what you say lands and is a true expression of yourself, the end result is being able to present your best self...conundrum solved!
That’s why story work is powerful. And how it changes ‘performing’ into ‘connecting’.
I call it ‘story work’ because it takes commitment, effort, reflection, and vulnerability. And because it works. The next time someone asks, “tell me about yourself,” you can authentically answer that question. The next time you interview for the job, pitch your business or speak at a wedding, you can bring it home. The next time you create your TED talk, signature story or college essay, you can inspire others into action. You’ll be more credible because you'll reveal more of your heart. You can CONNECT.
If you’re feeling ready (you can feel ready and nervous at the same time!) to work on your story, stop performing and start really connecting so you can have a greater impact on your listeners, let’s talk about working together!
I first met and worked with Katherine during a storytelling workshop. I came away with a sense of awe. Her straightforward and seemingly simple process helped me craft a compelling narrative that connected my personal experiences and career goals in ways I had never imagined before. Katherine helped me find my voice and think about how I wanted to use that as a vehicle for impact. I can't thank you enough Katherine for helping me find a voice I did not know existed within me.
- Faz Nassiri, director of recruiting at Guild Education
I'm so grateful for Katherine's expertise. She has an incredible ability to very quickly build a rapport, which in turn, allows her to have deep and authentic conversations with you, that draw out your unique story, in a way that almost helps your speech write itself. I am really appreciative to have had such a gifted coach to help me connect the dots and deliver a truly powerful presentation.
- Melody Wright, messaging strategy expert and founder SAY/DO strategies