Storytelling in the Time of COVID-19
When my personal trainer [aka my husband] started his Zoom workout class the other morning he instructed, “Get in an athlete position.” I tensed up. I wasn’t an athlete as a child. I’ve never been an athlete. And I will never be an athlete. Yes, I happened to marry an athlete, but that doesn’t make me one.
But the next day, when I was on a run, I thought to myself, “Wait a second! In your 20’s, you did two half Ironmans. In your 30’s, you did Ashtanga yoga every day. In your 40’s, you show up to every one of your husband’s classes. Not an athlete? What is wrong with you?”
(Please note how my inner voice knocks me down while working to build myself up. That’s the Self I have to deal with every single day...)
An Athlete doesn’t step on to the track the very first time as ‘an Athlete’. They start by wanting to get better, and recognizing that the only way to get better at something is to work on it consistently. An Athlete isn’t an Athlete only on Game Day. Their performance under pressure has everything to do with how much work they’ve put in. An Athlete knows that even with some natural talent, they won’t get it right all on their own -- finding the right coach makes all the difference. And usually, other people start calling someone an Athlete, long before they use that term for themselves.
So yeah, maybe I will start thinking about myself as an Athlete.
That’s why, whether you come to me for help with a speaking opportunity or how-to-lead-out-loud coaching, we always start with how you think about yourself—aka the story you tell your Self.
We find the story you tell your Self by sifting through all those details of your life: Your upbringing, family life, education, triumphs, struggles... everything.
We’ll absolutely cover important points like: What are you being called to share? Who is your audience? And what’s in it for them? We’ll undeniably create a compelling narrative. We’ll thoroughly practice practice practice. And, eventually you’ll be ready for Game Day, and receive that standing ovation, or get the job or promotion.
But the story you tell your Self is the key to unlocking the story you will tell others.
The hesitation around ‘speaking’ usually has to do with Resistance. Resistance to putting yourself out there, to letting someone in, to being judged, to being seen. Resistance to using your voice. You’re trying to show up on Game Day without believing you’re an Athlete. You feel like an imposter or you retreat into being a good girl.
In fact, there are a number of reasons you feel uncomfortable leading out loud or telling your story. Sometimes there’s a direct line to trauma but sometimes the pain comes from our voices extinguishing slowly over time…at the dinner table, in math class, or even mid-career. Seeing when we began to lose our voice is exactly when we begin to find it again.
So once we go deep, pull back the layers, get your whole story out, and see what you do that keeps your Self small… then we begin to create. We reflect, write, organize, craft, distill. We cross train. And we up the weights.
We start asking more questions like: What parts of your story do you need to add - or leave out? What meaning can you make from the experiences you’ve lived? Can people see who you are, what you stand for, what you care about as a result of hearing this story from you?
Because effective storytelling takes work.
I still joke that I've never met a ball I’m not afraid of. I still tense up when I play ping pong, Spike Ball or even HORSE with my teenage kids. I still look back on competitive sports as an arena in which I didn’t exactly thrive. But I’ve learned that muscles can be built over time, confidence can be found in the most unlikely places, and while the story we tell our Self is often what holds us back, it’s also what can propel us forward.
And when you find the courage to let us stand in your shoes, you can hold us in the palm of your hand.
When the opportunity for you to speak up, speak out, or speak on an actual stage--whether it’s 6,12 or even 18 months from now—why not be ready? Champions are made in the off-season.
Hey, while you’re here, check this out! Last summer Yifat Susskind came to me for help with an honored speaking opportunity on the TED Women stage. She runs Madre, an international organization that is on the front lines of grassroots organizing and humanitarian efforts. The message of putting the world’s most vulnerable at the forefront of policy felt as foreign an idea as we could imagine. It was a different era—pre Covid. But here we are. Maybe someone was listening. At this point, over 1 million views prove people are! I hope you enjoy it!
“Katherine was a critical thought partner and a grounding force in the development of my public speaking abilities. She has a deep understanding of the fundamentals of effective spoken communications and teaches what she knows without gimmick or self-promotion. Katherine is smart, intuitive, direct, reliable, efficient and funny—all qualities that made working with her both enjoyable and a great investment of time and resources.” - Yifat Susskind