Kicking it right in the ass
That got your attention didn’t it?
2019 was a hard year. As a family, we took some serious blows. This past April, my husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Yep, a routine colonoscopy revealed stage III cancer. We’re very lucky that the tumor was localized and treatable. A month before, my father had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
So it was a trying… but beautiful… year. I thought I lived in alignment with my values before, but 2019 showed me what is important. It became crystal clear. That is the gift that arrives with hard times.
One of the beautiful things that happened was that I made some really positive changes for myself. People have called it radical self-care; I’m calling it priorities because I...
...Worked less. Yet, I managed to hit every goal I set out in terms of financial reward. Add to that the psychological reward of loving what I do. I kept working throughout the health challenges that surrounded us and sometimes consumed us, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I'm in my fifth year of running my own business and my work is truly a ‘value-add’ to my days and weeks.
...Took email off my phone. I was tired of checking it at every stoplight – for no reason – not to mention I’m not supposed to! Sure, I’d check in on my computer soon after walking in the door – I didn’t unplug entirely – but I created a small, significant boundary between me and technology.
...Started running again and eating more vegetables [no joke!] My kids call what I do shuffling, not running; the proper terms are currently up for debate. But the bottom line is my walks have turned into shuffles on the California coast and for that, I’m super-grateful.
...And perhaps most importantly, I relied on others and asked for help. Our family has received lots of love and support [and food!] from others. Their many small acts of love have filled us up big-time and helped us all handle the year with dignity and grace.
I share all of this with you because I believe when things get tough, we absolutely have a choice. Yes, there were moments when I felt sorry for myself and un-justly tested – but surprisingly not many! I chose to be abundant, to feel grateful and to savor what was in front of me.
“A joyful spirit is evidence of a grateful heart,” as Maya Angelou said.
Okay, back to ass-kicking.
One theme that came up this year, and one I continue to see over and over with my clients is our tendency to fall into and get caught up in those old scripts inside of ourselves.
It’s so easy to do, like stumbling off the edge of a sidewalk. Suddenly you’re operating from a place of scarcity, overwhelmed by change and challenge. Just when you’re trying to grow, push out of your comfort zone, just when you most need courage, self-compassion and encouragement… you step off-track, drop a couple of inches into the gutter and start hearing messages on repeat about all the things that are wrong with you and all the things that you’re doing wrong.
Approval, Should's and Shame. That’s the ASS I’m talking about. And it can sneak up on you at any time.
If we work together, the first thing we’ll do is kick some A-S-S. We look at how the stories inside of you are holding you back, how they are WRONG, and what other stories are in you – those true, powerful stories you’ve been ignoring or drowning out.
Then we find the words that will help someone get you, see you, want to do business with you, hire you… heck, date you [if that’s what you want!].
And we build your confidence to give that speech, ask for that promotion, apply for that job or have that difficult conversation with someone you love. We get you ready to step up to any challenge on stage, in front of the room, at the board table, at the podium… any place where you want to show up and be more of the person you know the world needs to hear from and see.
It all starts with permission: permission to make yourself one of your own priorities, so you can do what it takes to summon the energy, support and space that allows you to choose gratitude and joy.
What I hope for you, as you go out into the world and shine and share your truth, is to do some serious ass-kicking this next year.
And if you need a friend, coach, cheerleader or expert storyteller to help you learn how to tell your story for a pitch, interview, speech, presentation, Ted-like talk, I’m your gal.