What are you being called to share?

Writing helps me figure out what I’m thinking. Telling my story helps me figure out who I am.

In November, I signed up for an open-mic night at a storytelling event. I had a message in mind, and when the invitation popped up to speak, I jumped at the chance.

Because one night after a particularly honest deep dive with a friend about marriage (over wine :) I came home and started writing a story about the time, years before, my husband and I went to see a therapist right after our third child was born. Writing it out had been intensely cathartic. Sharing it, live, with an audience… was Thrilling.

I’m not going to tell you the whole story—you’ll have to come see me tell it sometime—but I want to share with you what I learned in the process of writing my own personal story and sharing it in front of others.

You gotta go there. I wrote more than I ended up sharing. The story spilled out on the page and working through drafts, I decided what felt comfortable—and what I wanted to keep private. I wasn’t trying to work out anything. We had already worked it out—get it, therapy! Yes, it was a vulnerable topic. And sure, I could have chosen to keep it to myself. But what if I could help someone learn something about themselves? Or find the courage to reach out for help? Or be more real? So while I was in the risk taking zone, I wasn’t raw; I was inspired.

You can only make one point. While writing, I kept having to come back to the storyline....and go beyond. Storytelling isn’t about what happened, then what happened, then what happened next. It’s about revealing a more important insight. What was the deepest message I wanted to share? Which details supported the message? What could be cut out? The story is the vehicle to illuminate the point. It’s the connective tissue. It is what draws people in. But the message gives your story the meaning. It’s why you’re sharing your story to begin with.

Remember the storyline, not the words. I wrote out every single word I wanted to say as if I was submitting an English paper but then I lifted the points from each paragraph. I practiced in the shower, in the car, and used voice memo to hear how it sounded. I didn’t want to sound robotic, or over-rehearsed. Then that night, I just hoped for the best! No, it was deeper than that. I trusted myself. It was my story, for Goodness Sake. I had a message to share.  A gift to give from the hard-won experiences of my life.

Use the power of the pause. Once I stood in front of my audience, I looked in their eyes, straight to their hearts—and didn’t open my mouth. By doing so, I commanded the attention of all the eyes in the room. Instead of feeling like I was in front of tribal council, I chose to feel their love. Every time I started to feel the slightest bit anxious, I paused and looked out at all those loving eyes. It grounded me. And later, I was told how powerful those pauses felt as a listener. Making deep and direct eye-contact is a win-win!

When I got in my car that night, I felt truly Connected. I felt Giddy that I pulled it off; Grateful that my message resonated, and Energized to speak more often—and to share this story with an even larger audience.

When you speak to what matters, you create experiences of meaning, for yourself and for your listeners. People are moved, they feel connected and they want to know more. The moment comes alive.

And at home when I walked in the door, I looked straight in the eyes of my husband and said thank you. Thank you for letting me share our story. Let me tell you, if telling your story helps you figure out who you are, telling our story makes me love him even more. (20 years strong this year :)

What would happen if you took one of your stories -- one of your most profound experiences and most invaluable insights – to the STAGE? What do you think you could learn about yourself? Prove to yourself? Experience?

2019 can be YOUR year. I can help you develop your story and message — and confidence along the way. What are you being called to share?